"When you think everything is someone else's fault, you will suffer a lot.."
Dali Lama
"A man can fail many times, but he isn't a failure until he begins to blame somebody else."
John Burroughs
"Take your life in your own hands, and what happens? A terrible thing: no one to blame.."
Erica Jong
"If at first you don't succeed, blame your parents."
Marcelene Cox
Your life is what you make it. So don't blame others when you screw up.
"No, really… it's adorable when you blame everyone but yourself."
When you blame others, you give away your power to change.
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RECOGNIZE YOUR THOUGHTS, FEELINGS & ENERGY
- "It's your fault."
- "They are failing.."
- "They are doing it all wrong."
- "If they had not screwed up, we would be on time."
- "They made some huge mistakes that made my team mess up."
- "It is his fault, we had nothing to do with it."
You immediately accuse others as the responsible party.
REALIZE WHAT IS DRIVING YOUR MINDSET
- You're on the attack, tearing somebody else down. You don't see that your blaming is a covert way you excuse yourself from taking responsibility and is a cover for not feeling powerful.
- You find power in pointing our what's wrong with others and finding who is at fault rather than seeking a solution. You see yourself as the judge and jury that need no further evidence. "Guilty as charged" is your motto.
- Your self-righteous attack stance sets others up to respond to you defensively. You will interpret their reaction to you as evidence you are right about their guilt. If you feel that someone is blaming you it is still the mindset of blame - just the other side of the coin.
- You are resisting looking at yourself and your imperfections. You never do any introspection or take a view of yourself that there is room for improvement.
- You let yourself off the hook by avoiding being accountable.
RESOLVE TO MOVE FORWARD
- Hold yourself accountable for everything FIRST.
- Be the role model for accountability. If you hold yourself accountable others will follow your lead. By holding yourself accountable you create safety for others to work.
- Rather than point out what is wrong ask yourself, "What can I say or do to make others successful?"
- Approach as a coach who is committed to the other's success.
- People learn more and feel better when they are shown how to do something rather than being told how they were wrong.
- Begin the discussion by asking the person(s) about their perception of the situation and work towards a solution from where they are.
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